My mind is my shelter

Felicia

The futility of control

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The key to living in peace is the ability to stay in the present moment. You cannot live in the present moment if you think you are the one ‘doing’ your life.

If you think you are the ‘doer’, you feel justified in making endless plans. But watch carefully what happens to your plans. See how they inevitably change, reverse themselves, or dissolve into thin air as you begin to live out your experience. No matter how hard you try to pin your life down, there are inevitable surprises, and you should be grateful for them. Without these surprises your existence would be one dimensional, routine and boring.

Your ego is terrified of the unknown. No matter how terrible the known past is, the ego prefers it to the unknown present. All of its energy goes into trying to make the present into the past. The ego thinks that it creates safety, but in truth it creates continued terror, and a constant aggravation of the wound. Eventually, the pain is so intense that it must be dealt with. Everything, even your ego, conspires toward your awakening!

So, living the past over and over again creates the ultimate terror. Outwardly, life seems safe and predictable. Inwardly, the dynamite has been lit. You think you are the doer of your life, when in fact your life is about to explode and you are about to realize that you have no conscious control over what happens. You believe that you are powerful, yet you demonstrate again and again your powerlessness.

Interesting paradox, is it not? No matter how hard it tries, the ego cannot create safety. No matter how many times the ego tries to push you out of the present moment, it inevitably brings you into it full force, because the price of denial is pain.

The more you seek to control your life, the more life will give you the message that it cannot be controlled. And you may try even harder to control. It’s a silly game. You cannot win the game, yet you can’t stop playing it either. This is the one supreme addiction. It has many forms.

When you begin to realize that you are not the doer, you drop the subconscious attachment to playing to lose. You cease to be the victim. And when you are no longer the victim, you don’t attract the victimizer. The karmic contract is broken.

The wheel of the past stops turning, and you enter the unknown present with a new freedom. Now you can walk with confidence. You can walk your unique path and discover the gifts that lie on the other side of your fear.”

41vaTrm1cJL._SX319_BO1,204,203,200_Paul Ferrini – The Silence of the Heart

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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